I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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