Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize