Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
