Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
