who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
