His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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