yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
