she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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