Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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