you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
