He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think i got beer on your cat.
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