I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh god it's open bar.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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