sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
how can u be prego again
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
