If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
