you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
