I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
