No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
