:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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