need another drink. this is the easiest way
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
