Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Randomize
