I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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