dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
