Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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