Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
