when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
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I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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