I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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