just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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