the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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