weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
