At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
