Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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