I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
