Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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