dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
