I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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