wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I look better un-naked...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
