Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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