Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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