My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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