Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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