I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
