Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
