barbara walters just said penis...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
