the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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