Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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