Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
