We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
