dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
