Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize