whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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