I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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