i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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