My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
