I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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