I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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