I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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