you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I still have a little drunk in my system
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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