corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
