what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
