I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
